My Elvis. Photo: (c) Barb Ayers, DogDiary.org.

Wooly Mammoth of a Dog-Man. My basset hound. My Elvis.

Barbara Ayers June 26, 2020

He is a Wooly Mammoth of a dog-man.

My basset hound, My Elvis.

He bulges everywhere.

He oozes everything.

Every follicle, every pore,

every Hush Puppy red rimmed blood shot

stare down happy-sad expression.

His outline - so not a sliver, catches a sliver.

First light.

His scent is all night rain and fresh cut grass at daybreak.

Elvis is mostly slow and steady, like his shape.

Except when his 65 pound nose explodes awake!!

Like he’s suddenly giving birth!!

Like he’s standing guard for a long and lazy pregnancy!!

That massive nose drags the rest of him along like Raggedy Andy bobbing along behind.

Mammoth Man inches along creaky old-soul kitchen floors,

Scent hound, mining for gold. Last night’s pot roast.

Foot-long velvet ears drag dust bunnies on the Oregon Trail of our 113 year old farmhouse.

Elvis’ farmhouse. Photo: (c) Barb Ayers, DogDiary.org.

Elvis wobbles and rambles

like a cowboy in a spaghetti western.

His Elizabethan neck collar

flops side to side like a Brahma bull.

Backlit by warpy western windows,

he’s a shadow puppet.

He’s expanding to fill the room!

The Elephant Man… In a good way!

He’s huge and he’s a dwarf.

His warpy 3-foot spine rides long and low over 2 inch legs.

Bulging double layered ankles

were nick-named Skankles

by my other baby, my Katie.

And all of Elvis’ life and love and good intentions

bears down on those split-open cowboy boots.

Splayed out toenails are black.

No, some are white.

And some, like the rest of him, are both.

Wooly Mammoth Man fills up all the empty space in the creaky old farmhouse and all of us in it.

Even the cat.

Even though she acts indifferent.

And the ground squirrels nesting under the floorboards.

And the quail family commuting through the yard, looking for meaningful work.

And the hummingbird buzzing around the creaky old porch

that’s sagging down in places like some spaghetti western.

Standing on the shoulders of those that came before. Pix and poem: "All the Who's in Whoville"

Barbara Ayers September 30, 2016

Mosier, Oregon.

Our hometown. Our downtown park. For all 430 of us + dogs. Technically, there might be more residents just outside City limits.

At any rate, this is small town USA, right off the Historic Columbia River Highway, right next door to hipster Hood River, in one of those most scenic places around.

I wrote a poem for "Writing Up the Gorge," about this place - for a plein air writing event at the Columbia Center for the Arts. All the Who's in Whoville is on exhibit in September. Look for it reprinted below.

Here's the plaque on our front porch. Built by the Wilson's in 1907, it's a Sears Catalog home. No kidding, you ordered a kit home from the book and it shipped out in a box. Some assembly required... It has been a safe haven for people and animals ever since. Sears catalog homes are pretty rare out west.

We're proud to say our home was built before Mosier was incorporated. We celebrated our home's centennial in 2007 and the town celebrated in 2014.

We supported the renovation of Mosier's downtown park for the Mosier 100 event. The dogs and I were proud to help bring the park to life with so many others in our community.

"Our favorite spot" - our donor plaque at Mosier park. Turns out, it was this dog family's favorite spot too, in the 1900's.

Mosier's historic highway, a two lane road, was carved out of basalt cliffs that form a geologic spine in the Columbia River Gorge.

On Mosier's westside, The Twin Tunnels Trail is a magical stretch of the old highway closed to cars, with amazing river views - preserved for people and animals on foot, hoof, paws, bikes or skates.

We stand on the shoulders of those that came before. The pioneer cemetery - our town's namesake.

There were remarkable women who built Mosier from the ground, up - side by side with menfolk. We tip our hat to lady pioneers at the Mosier Park entryway.

The Mosier centennial parade in 2014 - how cool is that? Modern day Mosier lady pioneers - most of their family trees still live here.

In the parade, we rolled right behind with our Dog Diary surf dog unit - Elvis, Dude and Doodle. How many home town parades have the King of Rock wrapped into a basset hound surf dog?

That's me, Barb Ayers, dog mom, not pictured - pulling the surf wagon load. Like every other mom in America, snapping a trillion pix of my kids.

Plein Air poem for "Writing up The Gorge" at Columbia Center for the Arts:

All the Who’s in Whoville

By Barb Ayers www.DogDiary.org

Golden, glossy grains. Amber waves, curvy road. Buxom hills - fertile shapes. Farm gates open - tractor ready for labor.

Sunset silhouettes.

Rows of neatly spaced trees – vigilant neighbors of tender and ancient vines of future wines. Some young grapes longing to grow up and move away – the rest of us savor sweet and mellow Mosier.

Downhill from Analemma winery, I’m drawn to a quiet place, where time stands still and always will. I can’t resist. I’ve never visited a cemetery voluntarily.

Massive oak - gnarled trunk - sky-high outstretched arms. The sentry. Patriarch, Caretaker, undertaker of dearly departed. He himself, more than 150 years old – keeper of Mosier memories - keeper of families loved and lost.

Gregarious neighbor trees twitter leaves, bearing witness.

I am - we are - here together. Me, in flip-flops, windsurf rig with dogs and gear parked just outside. Chatfield 1848-1909 welcoming me to the cemetery.

It’s not fancy, Mosier. She’s the soulful one, with much to say if you’re paying attention. Super-subtle. Caring for her own. No fanfare. No glossy green grass. No paved walkways. No gilded urns. No rows of perfectly aligned flags - though an orchard of noble veterans - thank you for your service.

My shadow, 2-stories-tall over James F. Wynn 1869-1901 and Ida, His Wife, 1873-1897. So young – I wish I knew their story. I send my 50-something heart their way in my silhouette.

James and Ida reply, casting headstone shadows over the Sendlings, one plot east. We all intertwine.

This place where the Roots put down roots – Root family tree buried ‘neath Caretaker oak.

Hewitt. Ireland. Elder. Herman. Middleswart. Kruger and Brooks. Some rustic, some elegant. Husbands (including His Wife,) Proctor, Evans. Holmes. Putnam. Rorden. Kennedy bench. Mosier generations – they’re all here.

I miss my family, all living elsewhere, none resting nearby. These are my people now.

Some, glossy granite. Some, lichen-laden pioneers. Some sweet-simple. One AstroTurf hangout. One Elton John “Friends” album, no explanation necessary.

It’s a Who’s-Who of Mosier. It’s Whoville.

Co-mingled with mole holes, grey diggers and chatter of birds. Empty flagpole clanging - safe harbor - church bell calling to service.

August breeze rustles leaves, the stillness broken. Siren call - red rose scent. In full bloom! Out standing in a field of dried-out arrangements! Here, where sun sets and nature cremates.

I feel them before I see them. Red rose drew me in – to their rows - my people. Wilson. One word – one name - overwhelming tears.

"Miss You So Badly" sang Jimmy Buffet.

My Wilson relatives – though I know them not.

Danita, Grant, Wilson, Huskey. Red, the family dog. Buried together. That’s how I know we’re family.

Grant “a servant to his community.”

Donita “a nurturer of quality of life for all.”

I’m humbled - neither serving, nor nurturing enough.

My Wilson family. I bought the Wilson farmhouse. On Wilson Road. Sears Catalog home, assembled before Mosier, 109 years ago. Warpy old windows. Century-old hardwoods.

In the heart of the cemetery, the most magnificent stone - Mosier. As in Mosier, Oregon population 430, incorporated 1914, just like the sign says.

Doxie Doodle is a Writer in Residence at Columbia Center for the Arts, our Hood River gallery

Barbara Ayers September 23, 2016

Dear Dog Diary:

This month, Dude and I participated in Writing Up The Gorge - sort of - submitting 500 words written by our dog mom Barb Ayers en Plein Air (human speak for: outside.) We were in the car as she pulled over and wrote about our hometown of Mosier and the people that came before us - All the Who's in Whoville.

That short story told the tale of the original Wilson farmhouse, a Sears Catalog home, built in 1907 - the home we live in. It was sort of humanistic and a little sappy - not great for dog readers. But Whoville came to life. It's on exhibit 'til the end of the month at Columbia Center for the Arts.

Meanwhile, I hung up a shingle today at the Art Center as a Dog Writer in Residence.

Mom shot pictures (naturally.) I was the official writer dog and greeter.

We love supporting our nonprofit hometown art center. Mom volunteers there, too. They are so nice. They have art, theater and arts education. I hope you have one in your community, too.

“OOH! Almost had a sentence going - but then a person walked by outside.... looky that human in the window! Dog-gone... writer’s block - a.k.a. human distraction.”

Looking for inspiration...  Photo: Barb Ayers  www.DogDiary.org — **Looking for inspiration...** Photo: Barb Ayers www.DogDiary.org

“Taking a break - thought I smelled a dog...”

“Look! Another dog in the gallery... another art officionado doxie, even!!!! Another rescue dog! Triple score!”

learning about art from the gallery manager.jpg

Photo: Barb Ayers www.DogDiary.org

"Dogs appreciate art, we really do. Here, I'm taking in the view. The Columbia Center for the Art's "Emerging Artists" exhibit is modern - normally we're more into nature pix or paw prints or dog paintings... but really there is some very cool stuff to see here.

Check out that gnarly dude on the wall with the big teeth. Good Gawd, I think he's holding his heart. In his paw. Whatintheheck???"

Photos: Barb Ayers www.DogDiary.org

"OK, OK - back to work. I got this. How about a dog blog - "I'm a Writer in Residence?" Hmmm, let me think about that concept. Might need some human spell checking. If that gnarly dude would stop staring at me, I might actually get a paragraph written."